Although knock-knock jokes are classics, sometimes it’s best to skip the setup and get right to the gag. Funny one-liners from the Office UK. With these best one liners ever, you can find yourself laughing like a crazed hyena. Office One Liners, Success One Liners . They sit around fantasizing about their rich dreams and Andy can't seem to get them to get back to work. These funny one liners are as pithy as they are funny. Page 4. You'll have trouble putting on your pants. A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well. And when he … I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 81.35 % / 332 votes. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Restock their sock drawer with a selection of 12 crew and low-cut socks that highlight everything that makes the show what it is: awkward office culture, Michael Scott's one-liners… Subscribe The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it? I know I can’t be alone. Office One Liners . Moms and dads alike are sure to love these one-liners, smart jokes, and punny jokes. Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. When Andy compared Michael to Ali Larter. Humor. 24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties These corny jokes are guaranteed to get the crowd laughing with – or at – you. Work hard, play hard! Dwight's hierarchy of weaknesses. “Employee of the month is a good … Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it. One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. FRIDAY FUNNY: Workplace One Liners. NBC 16. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. 81.44 % / 291 votes. "Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine." The Office Quotes One Liners. These quotes from The Office prove that the series is one of the best shows to ever grace television. All sorted from the best by our visitors. "It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success. Shutterstock "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." But one-liners don’t have to bring the cringe, some of them are smart, insightful, and stick with you for ages. Dwight D. Eisenhower. I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already. Absolutely hillarious work one-liners! The Office is filled with amazing quotes from Michael Scott, but this one is a fan favorite. Currently Swoon Lifestyle Health & Wellness Student Life Content Inspiration Entertainment Politics and Activism Sports Adulting Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. Beverly Jenkins. Funny One-Liners. Can you make this thing work for me?” “Certainly,” the young executive says. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. The largest collection of work one-line jokes in the world. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. The series is full of great one-liners, silly sayings, and monologues of pure comedic genius. She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! 2. Beverly Jenkins is a humor and pop culture writer. Feel free to add your own in the comments section or share over the table at Thanksgiving (or any family dinner, for that matter). James Spader's Amazing One-Liners: Can You Tell Which Ones Are From The Blacklist, Pretty in Pink and The Office? A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. NBC Submitted by orstaderika. These little workplace humor tidbits were originally posted by Lane Olinghouse. Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. The Office is one of the greatest shows to ever exist. But of course there are times when a well-placed joke can add a little spice to the workday. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. 43% of all official statistics are worthless. 58 Share Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. Education Occupations Sleep Teachers. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. Even though the series wrapped up back in 2013, Dwight and his arsenal of unforgettable lines, are still relevant to this day. Now all the doors are alarmed. Searching the internet will return hundreds of short quotes attributed to Winston Churchill–many of which are incorrect. Not only was it hilarious, but it had so much heart, just like it’s boss, Michael Scott. Catch you on the flippity flip. and … 1. When there was a Harry Potter + The Office mash-up. I think this generation will have to go into separate rooms and text each other to work out their problems. Here we examine a list of Churchill’s best ‘one-liners’ throughout his life. Through The Office's nine-season run, Dwight's hilarious one-liners and unforgettable speeches have coined endless amounts of merchandise. When the warehouse workers win the lottery, the ripple effect reaches into the office workers, who begin to wonder what they would do with the money if they were to win the lottery. By January Nelson Updated September 30, 2019. Office One Liners . A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin. If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already. One liner tags: communication, mistake, work. In true Michael Scott form, he does love a good play on words and, let's face it, he probably thinks that "stitious" is an actual word. 100 Work and Business Jokes, Quips and One-liners. 1. Plenty of memorable one-liners are sprinkled throughout The Office, but did you know that several of the all-time best quotes from the show are from the same vastly underrated episode? You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. There are two types of people in the world. You will learn a lot today. I have a friend. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Category Archives: Office One Liners. One liner tags: life, work. NBC 18. fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine. Subscribe for more in the future. Who else cried way more during this show than during an actual dramatic TV show? "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." Take A Look At Our List Of The Best Funny Quotes From ‘The Office’ TV Show Including The Most Famous One-liners From Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, Jim … The best funny one-liners. 12. Laugh out loud with these funny office jokes. NBC Submitted by … This reaction all Office fans have to Justin Bieber. The lawyer turns around. Keep these funny quotes in mind the next time you’re looking for a good show to binge watch over the weekend. Office One Liners . Share PINTEREST Email Print Via Getty Images/Thomas Barwick. share. I always stress that being funny, having a great sense of humor, and adding more humor into a workplace has very little to do with telling jokes. Office One Liners  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. MEETINGS, A practical alternative to work. Have fun! Office One Liners . A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Rewind the clock and enjoy 21 of David Brent’s best quotes from The Office… “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? The entire cast returned for the finale, including Steve Carrell as Michael Scott, which was a huge surprise for fans. Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line. share. He keeps trying to convince me he’s a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe him. NBC 17. Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise. 1. The Office is known for its over-the-top jokes, awkward moments, and some of the best comebacks and one-liners of any sitcom, all delivered perfectly by … When Michael was an "escape goat." Memes Funny Videos Holiday Humor By. Churchill Quotes: ‘One-Liners’ A list of some of the best ‘one-liner’ Churchill quotes. Moreover, they can always help you avoid silly moments of silence when you’re with your friends. See TOP 10 work one liners. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I had to put my foot down. After nine seasons, the final episode of The Office aired in May of 2013. Free Daily Quotes. Oh come on, you can admit it. A company installed a new security system. Odyssey. It catches listeners off guard and is a great way to get a quick laugh. 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