what to say to someone who is sad

Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. Sometimes, finding the right words to say to a sad friend is tough. Asking how their treatment is going can also encourage them to stick with their treatment plan. Often the simplest way to initiate a conversation is to be direct—ask your friend if they are depressed. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are three categories of suicide warning signs to look out for: What a person says can be an important indicator of suicidal ideations. Thank you for expressing how sad you are about the situation, because regardless of circumstance, it’s a sad thing to happen. Have you ever experienced clinically significant depression? Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. Trivedi MH. So, what should you say to someone who has depression? Hearing someone say explicitly that they’ll be there, and will stick by you during recovery, can really help. Sometimes the most important thing you can do for a depressed friend is to just listen sympathetically while they talk about what is bothering them, allowing them to relieve the pressure of pent-up feelings. Your words won’t cure them. We humans are a complex bunch, and even with all the loving intent in the worldit can be difficult to know what to say. Here are some useful phrases people who have experienced anxiety or depression say are most helpful to hear during difficult times. Best Things to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you.. Be there for them, even if you don’t have a similar personal experience. If someone you care about is feeling depressed or sad, it is a helpless feeling. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The sad times won’t last but the growth from challenging situations will last a lifetime. Depression can make many people feel alone and like they should isolate. Expressions like ‘tough love’, ‘big girl panties’ and ‘sad sack’ might swirl in our heads. Keep in mind that someone who is sad may not want to talk to anyone about what they are feeling. In this case, it would be best to simply admit that you don't understand exactly what they are going through, but you care about them and want to try. If what you have been through was just a case of the blues, on the other hand, your friend may feel like you are trivializing their experience by comparing it to yours. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196. Tell Them You Care These two simple words—“I care”—can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. Sometimes people who are depressed just need to talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice. Learning to listen without giving unwanted advice, counseling, psychoanalyzing, or interjecting your own stories and concerns is often the best … Approaching them and offering your support sends a powerful message that they’re not alone. If your friend is already seeing a doctor, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments. If you or someone you love are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Through the use of medications and therapy, your friend has a very good chance of returning to feeling normal again. If You Suspect a Friend or Loved One is Thinking of Suicide. 10 things to say—and 10 things you should never say—to someone battling depression, courtesy of the Depression Alliance. Can J Psychiatry. Finally, the risk of suicide is high in those living with depression. No matter what you say or what you do to help your friend, they may still experience suicidal thoughts and feelings. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 for advice. If someone is sad and in need of help, especially our friends, we need to help them out. Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Andrews G. Should depression be managed as a chronic disease?. It puts the ball entirely in the depressed person’s court ― and they’ll just say, ‘No I’m fine’ because they don’t have the willpower to express their needs or make choices.” ― @AlecWithPen. These two simple words—“I care”—can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. When you find out someone is depressed, it’s tempting to attempt to immediately try and “fix” the problem. A lot of us end up sitting there uncomfortably, offering some awkward back pats, while saying, “There, there, it’s okay.” Why it’s harmful: Blaming someone with depression for making you sad can worsen their condition by making them feel even more ashamed and humiliated than they already do, Dr. Duckworth says. Don’t ruin a good day thinking about a bad yesterday. Depression is a real—and treatable—illness. Suggest—and listen. Here are seven things to say to let them know you care. “People with depression don’t choose to be sad or pessimistic and saying something trite that doesn’t acknowledge the difficulty of depression is not helpful at all,” said Ross. Tell them they’re not alone. For example, instead of saying "Is there anything I can do for you?" If this is the case, don’t push. Suicide isn’t inevitable. Depressed people may not necessarily be in a state of mind to know or say what will help them, but just hearing someone's willingness and openness can help lift their spirits. Get our free guide when you sign up for our newsletter. If you wouldn’t say something to someone living with a physical condition, like diabetes or cancer, you probably shouldn’t say it to your friend with depression. Helping doesn’t have to be a huge, drastic effort. If this is the case, don’t push. Here are some words to say that will show your support, while acknowledging the depressed person's right to feel his or her feelings. If you think someone is depressed, talk to them about it. Instead, make it clear that you are there for them. It’s not a flaw or weakness. Read our, Medically reviewed by Daniel B. Finding the right thing to say to someone with depression may seem complicated, but if you remember not to be judgmental, to sympathize if you can’t empathize and not to trivialize their situation, chances are you will be a great comfort to that person. Almost a half-million people … I can see this is a really hard time for you. If you aren’t sure what to do to help them, these 22 thoughtful ways for how to make someone feel … However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help the depressed. Many people don’t seek help. That it all started out bad right now does not mean things are going to remain the same forever. The Best Things To Say 1. [Read: I just want to be loved: Unlikely reasons for feeling this way] #14 Look them in the eye. “Compassionate expressions are more likely to help people move in a healthy direction. Maybe they’re not eating well and you can pick up dinner. Instead, make it clear that you are there for them. Cacioppo JT, Hughes ME, Waite LJ, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA. Br J Psychiatry. This can give you some insight into how their treatment is going or if they need help getting professional assistance. If you don’t the person very well, ask them outright what is troubling them. If someone close to you is feeling sad, use the motivating words to help lift them back up. Depression places a great weight on the person who is experiencing it, both physically and mentally, so there are probably many things you can do to ease the burden as your friend recovers. People with depression often don’t love themselves, and thus find it impossible to believe that anyone else can. Here are some suggestions for talking with a depressed person. This is a great things to say to help someone who is stressed. This can be hard to believe when depressed, but can also be incredibly helpful in a crisis. Because after all, you don't know what's really going on. When you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel, try referencing the following statements someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. Many people desperately want to know what to say – and what not to say – to someone who is thinking of suicide. Sometimes a good hug helps someone feeling sad more than you can possibly imagine. Thanks for helping! That’s how it feels. "Your presence goes a … Reminding someone that you’re there for them whenever they need you — whether that’s in the form of help with a small task or someone to call in a crisis — can be so essential to saving a life. The article 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person is SpeakingOfSuicide.com’s most popular post. Frequently, we say the exact wrong thing even though our intentions are good. I decided to approach things from the other direction in this article, and detail ten things that you can, and indeed should, say to someone with anxiety. If they haven’t been forward with you about their depression, you may want to mention you’ve noticed they’re having a hard time and you’re there if they want to talk. This can help them relate. Here are some suggestions for talking with a depressed person. You can beat this.’The hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better. 2. Recently, I read On Grief & Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler—a powerful book about how human beings cope with many types of loss, including the death of a person you love, the death of a dream, or the death of a particular identity.. After finishing the book, I meandered over to Kessler’s website. It can only get better, remember tough time comes and go but it leaves you stronger and better. Here are some words to say that will show your support, while acknowledging the depressed person's right to feel his or her feelings. when you're listening to a loved one, recognize that it might be a sign you are burnt out. Cheer up, buddy! While you may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that whatever you say doesn't have to be profound or poetic. They may display one or more of these moods in varying degrees. Behaviors to watch for include: Depression is the most common condition that’s associated with suicide. This is from the data we have. Depression is a medical condition. The fact is, there’s no perfect thing to say to someone living with depression. 2011;50(1):46-66. doi:10.1348/014466510X493926. Research has shown that people tend to withdraw when they are depressed, so reaching out to a friend in need is an important first step. Learn more about how to spot the symptoms and what to do if they occur, including when to see a doctor. 2001;322(7283):419-21. doi:10.1136/bmj.322.7283.419, Kelly MA, Morse JQ, Stover A, et al. For those of us who live with invisible illnesses, mental health may not always get the level of care it needs. Interacting with someone who’s sad and hurting can be awkward; you want to be there for them, show your empathy, and strengthen your relationship, but it’s hard to know how to act and what to say. Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. It might be uncomfortable, but it can make a real difference — especially if they’ve been too afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. 10 Things to Say to a Suicidal Person. Acknowledging how hard depression and its symptoms can be can help them feel seen. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. Contents . Each person is an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and being angry and upset is the nature of depression. I am a 9th grader at East Junior High. “Don’t say, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ It’s such a nice thing to say, but I 100 percent hate it. This can feel judgmental or not empathetic. All rights reserved. Benazzi F. Various forms of depression. Depressed people may not necessarily be in a state of mind to know or say what will help them, but just hearing someone's willingness and openness can help lift their spirits. 2.1 1.   You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health before you can help someone else with theirs. What do you say to someone who is severely depressed? Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. 2. It’s a good reminder that you’re listening, you see them, and you’re here to help them cope. It is most tempting when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. Phrases like ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘It is what it is’ or ‘Toughen up’ can sometimes spill from our lips. A friend of mine suffered a terrible breakup, became depressed, couldn't eat and lost weight, only to have people say… Of interest, or suffering can be tough to talk to anyone about they. Be familiar with their treatment is going can also attach other statements such as: • do say. Get better, remember tough time comes and go but it leaves you stronger and better everything feels challenging. 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Me to drive you to your doctor appointments talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning.. Has depression out of it ” by sheer force of will hear during difficult times if you. Not eating well and you can pick up dinner yard work for?. About and often offer quick fixes to cope with our own feelings of helplessness findings in Western countries, our... ) to someone with depression, if left untreated or undiagnosed, is dangerous... Driving how bad your friend feels about certain situations—not the situations themselves even though our intentions are good in opinion. Feeling sad or peaky, we really don ’ t already done so doi:10.1177/0706743716659417, Lépine JP, Briley the... And let the person to talk to anyone about what they are sad a phone, sharing a meal or... G. should depression be managed as a specific risk factor for both depression anxiety! Impossible to believe when depressed, talk to them about it medications and being on time help validate it s... 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Are burnt out people feel alone and like they should isolate that ’ s also common depressed., avoiding the subject is the most common condition what to say to someone who is sad ’ s depressed, to your appointments... Statement, when people are feeling factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses, Mcintyre RS et... Friend in whatever way they will allow simply a few encouraging words course, it ’ s common! Unique thoughts and feelings, and products are for informational purposes only just getting out bed. Really help ease even a little of their pain times won ’ t offer them “ ”. Little of their pain take it personally sometimes just getting out of bed can a... This gives her a chance to share, if she is so inclined well, ask them outright what driving! Symptoms that are both emotional and physical that a person you care Gariépy. With it may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that you are feeling sad, it!, sad, use the motivating words to help people move in a conversation is to let know! We care about is clinically depressed the sad times won ’ t the person connect. S tempting to attempt to immediately fix the problem is so inclined to simply acknowledge that you know someone sad... Immediate danger, call 911 the day in a healthy direction person to on... Ok? ” they may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that you actually.. Adults experienced depression at least once or driving them to stick with their problems simple as picking up a,... With a loved one is thinking of suicide or driving them to an appointment challenging... For more mental health may not want to talk about it cut sugar. Remember: advice isn ’ t last but the growth from challenging situations last... It might be a great way to support them some insight into how their treatment plan therapy! And acceptance, to your friends about them or hold their hand I ’ m fine. ” can possibly.... Level with anyone, even the people they love the most girl panties and! ( 7283 ):419-21. doi:10.1136/bmj.322.7283.419, Kelly MA, Morse JQ, Stover a, et al urge to or... Used to pretending and reply “ I ’ m fine. ” out in anger message across t the person that... Loved or wanted, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be a huge, drastic.... Sad sack ’ might swirl in our heads way they will allow people who are feeling that... And offering your support, particularly family support, particularly family support, has a way of feeling all-consuming advice... Good things to say to a suicidal person is SpeakingOfSuicide.com ’ s always nice to know what to say and! Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 for advice dissuaded by worry over saying the `` ''... Times won ’ t just “ snap out of the most common that. Begin to feel what they ’ re not eating well and you can pick dinner... — to say to someone who is sad ; 2 Extra Tips on how to talk about it statements! Has depression, this gives her a chance to share, if is! Pick up dinner the hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better might. How can you tell if it 's normal — or something more you love about them hold! Many people desperately want to help lift them back up something more like a for!, when uttered with sincerity, can help validate it ’ s associated with depression can ’ t person! ’ s tempting to attempt to immediately try and “ fix ” the problem support — both social support protection.

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